Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Death by Travel Channel

I think the Travel Channel is trying to kill its hosts.

I first suspected this after seeing an episode of "No Reservations" and decided that "Anthony Bourdain Gets Drunk and Crashes at Some Random Stranger's House" would be a more appropriate name for the show.  Even if he doesn't shack up with strangers, he does get drunk in almost every episode and begins slurring about how whatever is so much better "than anything we have back in the States."  His crew follows him around as he gets wasted, and sometimes they get wasted, too.  I'm not against you getting wasted as long as you don't harm other people.  It's just that I completely expect him to end up dead from it, and the Travel Channel will have the footage to show for it.

I wanted to post a drunk pic, but I couldn't resist this!

Next, consider Andrew Zimmern.  By choice, he eats all sorts of things I wouldn't touch in my worst nightmares (rotten beef packed in beef fat...bleh!).  I cannot begin to imagine the vomiting, diarrhea, and parasites he endures.  I figure he must loose a lot of weight during and after each of his trips, and he recovers it during his off-time.  Now, he has a new show where he travels to places in the U.S. So he goes off to other countries to stuff himself with things that turn his digestive tract into a worm hotel and flume, and then he comes home to fill himself with carbs and grease.  I smell diabetes, stroke, and heart attack all over him. 

Check out the pig with the cellphone.

But, he's not the only one.  Adam Richman of  "Man V. Food" is well on his way to the grave.  He either eats so much that it must leave his stomach and guts feeling like a whore that got gang-banged, or he eats something so hot that he probably shits napalm.  He has a new show too - going around and gorging on meat with his bffs.  He's only thirty-six, but I imagine his personal physician has already thrown in the towel.

Food-gasm or massive coronary? Whatever it is, the Travel Channel has its logo on it.
Okay, so maybe the Travel Channel isn't purposefully trying to kill its hosts, but it certainly is enabling them.  I wonder if they've signed waivers regarding the health-related ramifications of their shows.  When these men finally keel over, I wonder if their families will sue for wrongful death.   

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